I fast once a month as a religious exercise. I skip two meals, pray with purpose, and donate money to the needy. In theory, it’s a great practice. But I’ll be honest: I love food. Aaand sometimes I’d rather not fast. But when I commune with God, I remember that fasting is not hungering from something so much as it is hungering for something. The conversation goes something like this:
Me: I’m hungry.
God: Yes, I know.
Me: You’re sure I need to skip meals to commune with you? I’m a lot nicer when my blood sugar is moderated. (Aaaaaand there’s a chocolate bundt on the counter).
God: But you said you’re hungry.
Me: I am (sigh) . . . not just physically. I’m really struggling.
God: Tell me.
Me: It’s hard. I don’t really know what to fast for, but my soul is languishing. I can’t tell what’s wrong.
God: Maybe start with what you desire?
Me: I desire … friendship. To be a peace in my marriage. Purpose. Affirmation. Something to strive for.
God. That’s a good list. I want those things for you too….Tell me, what are you thankful for?
Me: My girls! Of course. And safety. Plenty of food, gentle temperatures, books, rain, physical health, a kind community.
God: You’re welcome.
Me: Thanks. It feels good to worship You.
God: I love you, too.
God: Tell me, how are your brothers and sisters?
Me: I’m going to write to Lori and see if jail visits are allowed yet. And Jennifer made me a cross-stitch! I want to visit her. I wonder if Jess could use a phone call this week?
God: You’re a good sister. Thanks for watching out for your siblings.
Me: It’s my pleasure.
Me: Thanks for the visit. This was good. I guess I can wait on the chocolate bundt for now.
God: It’s a kind offering. I love you. Let’s talk again soon.